After you have lost a loved one, there are lots of 'firsts' you have to face.....usually with some trepidation. Following Olivers death last January, I think we all dreaded facing the firsts, they all came so close together - first Christmas, first New Year, first Birthday of Oliver, first anniversary of his passing, first anniversary of his funeral.......not to mention all the family birthdays. They were all hard to face, to get through and left me feeling numb but last week, I had a very different 'first'!!!!
Driving in my car I suddenly realised I was singing along with the radio. It was the first time I had sung since we lost Oliver. I can't even remember what song had spurred me on to sing out loud, I was so shocked that I was singing again and I realised that my spirits have obviously lifted enough for me to enjoy music again. I guess that's called progress. And while none of us want to think about moving on, the sad fact is that time marches on whether you want it to or not, and we move on with it.......never forgetting the lost ones, never leaving them behind but learning to live life again, slowly, gently and differently than before.